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Hey! You've reached Superboy. I'm probably out saving the world (or should that be worlds?) right now, (that or spending some quality time with a lucky hottie,) but leave a message with the nature, location and scale of your emergency and Superboy will be with you faster than a speeding locomotive! Or he would be if you know, they had locomotives or super-powers here, but hey. Details.

If you're a sexy babe calling about a date with the boy of steel just go ahead and reserve that jacuzzi now!

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That's the spirit. I will crack on with the showering preliminaries and meet you in the bubbles.

((ooc: I was assuming bathing suits, but then I was all 'oh, yeah, Asgard's European' and googled and guess what -- co-ed nudity's a thing. Kon is fine either way (teenage boy, enough said) so up to you and Roxy's comfort levels!))

((wow nudie roomie jacuzzi times are so on then.))

Same, see you in ten!

[And then ten minutes later as promised, she arrives by the jacuzzi, popping a towel down on a disused bench as another is wrapped around her.]

No peeking as I get in!

Mama always said 'don't make promises you can't keep.'

But Mama was a test tube so I don't know what my point is. C'mon in, Rox. It's not getting any bubblier.

((best nude roomies))

Well my Mom turned out to be my daughter so I don't even know.

[Welp looking or not, she removes the towel as she slips into the water.]

[There's plenty of room, but Kon scoots a little on principle. Roxy needs to know that if room were needed, he would provide said room. Or something. I don't know. Teen boy logic and it shows off his chest a little.]

That's right, we were going to compare family trees. Why didn't we do that? Oh right -- wound up discussing the merits of Harrison Ford versus Johnny Depp instead.

So, jacuzzi. Best idea or best idea?

Johnny Depp is still the best I think. But yeah, we can if you wanna?

And it's us. Between us, any idea is a fantastic idea!

I felt compelled to make the Harrison Ford argument so we could say we examined all the options. And I dunno. There's another reason we are here in this jacuzzi, right?

You know, I think you're onto something.

He was hot too, but I still prefer Depp. And yeah. Got some sorta shitty news earlier, but being depressed isn't really my thing? Hence the jacuzzi.

Am guessing that talking about it would defeat the purpose of the jacuzzi, but the offer's there. Anytime.

[She's quiet for a few seconds, but she does want to talk about it, so...]

You know how I was here for months, then got sent away, but came back remembering everything? The same thing happened to Jade, aka the ex roomie. And apparently everything's more fucked than I thought it already was, which was a lot seeing as I was in hag jail?

Dude.

[Kon is as unfamiliar with HomeStuck canon as his player, but 'more fucked' and 'hag jail' sound pretty dire. And that's even on top of best friend and ecto-daughter up and leaving.]

How fucked up is more fucked up?

[Not even Roxy understands Homestuck some times.]

You want the short version or the long version?

Give me the headlines to start.

The trolls' Empress, aka the Batterwitch aka Betty Crocker aka the woman I hate and cannot stand more than anyone to ever exist is fucking things up.

Before I came back to Asgard the second time I was in jail because of her, she put me there because she wanted me to do something for her? I dunno what, I never found out.

Anyway before that me and my friends were basically sitting on our asses for five months in the Sburb medium waiting for Dave and Rose's group to get to us, since they have all these crazy endgame powers and we need them to defeat the bad guys?

Well, Jade got sent home and came back here earlier. Turns out that she finally got there after her three year trip... only for the Empress to show up, mind control her and get her to use those crazy god powers on us! Made her teleport Dirk somewhere out in space, then the Batterwitch apparently took control of my Janey too and Jake is just useless and crying and she is literally right in front of me and I just.

[So fucked. Soooooo fucked.]

I hate her. I lived on Earth where there was literally one other person left and he was a whole ocean way. Because she's killed everyone. She's like a sea-hitler but ten times worse. She'd murdered the adult versions of Rose and Dave centuries before and I don't think I could ever forgive her for killing my Mom, let alone all the other terrible things she did.

[So very fucked, wow. Hopefully you're cool with a hand on your shoulder Roxy, 'cause this seems like the appropriate place to offer one.]

So basically everything's going to hell in a hand-basket, only you guys were stiffed your complimentary handbasket? And you can't even do anything about this 'cause the moment you return you'll forget everything Jade's told you about what happens?

Pretty much! I know first hand that if you go home you don't remember anything from here.

Also she, said we were god-tier like her? Which is cool, since it means we have cool powers, but the only way to get god tier is to die, so... I dunno what happened, if we killed each other or killed ourselves or what.

Geez, and I thought I'd been party to some messed up shit but that really goes above and beyond.

How you feeling about it?

Frustrated I guess since there's nothing that can be done about it? Mostly I'm just Peed off 'cause the witch is always doing things to wreck my life.

And you can't even be glad she's not here 'cause with the way that usually goes she'd be rocking up on our doorstep before the week's out.

... dunno if it's worth anything, but I think you'll be cool. I mean, if I could save Metropolis by being laughably pathetic, then as cool as you guys are, you'll put that Batter Witch down for good. Even if she's got the upperhand now, trust me. I know how this stuff goes.

Aww. Thanks. I'm pretty sure you did great though in whatever it is you ended up doing. And I'm sure we will win eventually, right? Even if it is sucking major balls right now.

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